


01x01- Welcome to the family

by Dark_at_Noon



Series: Misty Mountains: Season One [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bard is a very busy full-time job working single dad, DID I MENTION IT'S A SOAP OPERA AU, Implied Sexual Content, Puppy Love, Two-timing, because it is, do not worry Kili and Tilda are the same age it's ok, he doesn't intentionally let his kids be all over the Ironfoot bros, not full out but, sort of a mention to oral sex on a lady, there we go, this is just episode one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 01:32:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_at_Noon/pseuds/Dark_at_Noon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which we, quite literally, meet the family. <br/>(Part of the Misty Mountains Season 1 collection, which is in turn part of the Misty Mountains boxset collection)</p>
            </blockquote>





	01x01- Welcome to the family

**Author's Note:**

> In which Kili and Tauriel are very good friends, nothing more, nothing less, thank you very much, Uncle Bilbo, and Tilda is a very strong, independent woman, who is probably going to socially destroy Tauriel because that's what thirteen year old girls do when they're cheated on (i haven't been thirteen for a while so I'm very sorry)   
> also 2004 chapters are short but 2014 chapters arent!!

**2004**

Kili knew that what he was about to do was very wrong for three reasons:

  1. Tauriel was his friend's sister.
  2. Kili already had a girlfriend, and she was actually a very nice person who he cared about.
  3. Tauriel was sixteen and that was a lot older than him (like _a lot_ )



Of course, he had counter arguments for each point:

  1. Tauriel was really, really, _really_ hot. And Legolas probably wouldn't mind. 
  2. Tilda was nice but also very blah and she bored him a lot. And usually she didn't even want him to kiss her, just to talk about their emotions (ew)
  3. Tauriel was sixteen, so his friends would think he was cool AND he could do things with her that Tilda wouldn't do (Things like Fili did to his girlfriend. Kili wasn't entirely sure what things they did, but from what Kili heard, Fili did seem to enjoy it.)



Tauriel's eyes were closed, and she was leaning towards Kili at an alarming rate, and squeezing his eyes shut to eradicate the image of TIlda that seem to be tattooed on his eyelids, Kili leaned forwards and closed the gap.

* * *  
A bead of sweat slid down Fili's chest and pooled in the join between his leg and hip. Next to him, Sigrid pushed herself up onto one elbow, and Fili grinned at her. 

She opened her mouth, probably, thought FIli, to praise him for his frankly outstanding oral sex. "So, Fee," she purred. "What'd you get for question 25 on the Maths quiz?"

**Author's Note:**

> im back and better than ever (not really). on a completely unrelated note, I think I'm going to go and write a ficlet about Bilbo Gardner and Thorin III Stonehelm. 
> 
> (also for those of you who actually care: I like to think of teenage Fili being like James Adams from the CHERUB series- a total fuckin moron with no sense, who sleeps around but eventually meets a girl who wears his balls as a necklace who he's completely mad for. I'm not sure if that girl (who'll pop up in this series) is going to be canon or OC, but I have pretty big plans for Sigrid. These plans involve her not being with Fili. She's going to be a Pepper Potts, minus a Tony Stark)


End file.
